Permission To Be A Diva

Posted on: February 14th, 2016 by Rachel Cosgrove

It’s a shame to call somebody a diva simply because they work harder than everybody else. –Jennifer Lopez

 As you learn to guard your time, know what your time is worth, watch out for yourself and stick to your boundaries you may get labeled a “diva.” This is not a bad thing. In fact, I give you permission to be a diva.

There was a time when I would do anything for anyone at a moments notice. I wanted everyone to “like” me, and I still do. A few years ago, I had signed a contract with one of the biggest companies I had ever signed with. When they said jump, I would jump. No matter what time of day they called I’d answer or call them right back (many times after 8pm at night or on the weekends), if they sent an email I’d email right back. If they asked me to get on a plane tomorrow and be somewhere, I’d clear my schedule and make it happen. I wanted to please.

As women we are people pleasers. We want people to like us. Many times we will drop our own priorities, plans, commitments to ourselves to please someone else. As you get more and more opportunities in this industry, you will learn that you need to find the inner diva and let her come out to protect you and your time. The fantastic part is that doing this, other people will start to treat you and your time like it is valuable and like the diva that you are. This way you can choose what your time gets used for instead of letting others choose. Remember – You teach people how to treat you.

After years of bending over backwards trying to please everyone and as more and more opportunities were coming my way, along with running the gym, I was being pulled in a million different directions. The turning point was a very powerful phone call that gave me permission to be a diva. This was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Although I had been doing everything I could to accommodate requests and keep everyone happy, during the phone call I was told, “You are acting like a Diva.” I am? Really? Well, ok then…My response, “You are right. I will proudly own the title of Diva no problem” And I did…

I’ll show you Diva. From that moment forward all scheduling had to go through my assistant including scheduling a call with me. I stopped being accessible at a moment’s notice and took my own time back. I had permission to be a diva and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. You’re right I am a “diva,” proudly. I hung up the phone and stood a little taller feeling pretty good about having permission to be a diva.

The definition of “diva” in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is “a usually glamorous and successful female performer or personality.” Another definition is “a usually glamorous woman who is preeminent in her field of activity.” I’m ok with that…In Italian it literally means Divine. Some synonyms are Goddess, Princess and Queen.

Shortly after this I signed to do another project with another company but kept the lesson I learned that I now had permission to be a diva. I set boundaries on my time, I made sure I was paid what my time was worth and I was not available on a moment’s notice but instead everything went through my assistant. When I showed up to work I gave 100%. Because I had boundaries on my time I felt I could give even more. Diva’s don’t spread themselves too thin, they guard their time making sure they can always bring their best and the people who hire them and work with them can always expect they will get a professional who brings their best to everything they do.

What happened? The companies I worked with started to respect my time and realize that I am very busy. They were happy to pay me what I am worth and when they did have my time I gave them the absolute best I had and they made sure they used it effectively and treated me like the “diva” that I am.

Oh and take note, you can be a diva and still be approachable, giving, easy to get along with and friendly. A diva doesn’t always have to = bitch. Although, if you read my first book you know I’m ok with BITCH too – Be Inspiring Totally Confident and Hot.

Being a diva simply means your own time is valuable and you will protect it, it also means you know how to ask for what you want. If you don’t ask you won’t get it. Being a diva also means that you are a true professional. Being a diva opens more time to spend with friends, family and volunteering for charity work.You are living your life on your own terms, not someone else’s and will be much happier and easier to get along with because of it.

I grant each of you permission to be a Diva!

Act As If and get out of If…Then…Thinking

Posted on: February 11th, 2016 by Rachel Cosgrove

et out of “if…then” thinking. Many women are guilty of this “If…Then” thinking when it comes to our bodies. We never stop and enjoy – Now.

In the book, Drive by Daniel Pink he talks about this in relation to management and leading a team in a company. This was interesting stuff which I immediately started to think how I could apply it in our business. He talks about using intrinsic motivators as the way to drive people to give their best long term instead of using “If….Then” motivators or extrinsic motivators.

And then I realized this is also a very powerful concept to use with my clients and the people I coach. In his book, he touches on using this with your health and weight loss as well and it made me think….

Many women are in the mindset of “If…Then.” Especially when it comes to the scale- “If” I weigh X “then” I’ll feel good. Feel Good starting NOW and start to act as if! Start to tune in to how you feel and the intrinsic motivation you have to drive yourself to accomplish what you want to accomplish.

I was actually reminded of this recently because I have a Red Covertible Toyota Solara that I have had for 6 years. It is paid off and I still enjoy it. For my birthday recently I decided to get it all fixed up and get all of the evidence of anything I had ever backed into removed(I am infamous for backing in to things…). For the 6 years I have owned it I had accumulated quite a few dings and I hadn’t been parking it in our garage. I started to think….eventually when I get my next new nice car then I’ll take care of it. But then I realized that I was using “If…Then” thinking. “If” I had a new, nice car, “then” I will park it in the garage and take care of it. I decided that I would get my Toyota fixed up, looking brand new and start parking it in the garage and treat it exactly AS IF it is my brand new dream car. It is amazing how instantly my car now feels like a brand new dream car to me.

This is the same as your body. You will never enjoy your body, if you keep putting off enjoying it until….you weigh X amount of weight or until you are a size such and such….

Are you guilty of “If…Then” thinking? Start to catch yourself and change your mental dialogue. Enjoy your fit female body today and start acting as if and really tune in to how it feels to be fit and feel good about yourself!

Re read the Fit Female Credo in my first book, The Female Body Breakthrough, and keep yourself focused on making progress but also enjoying the progress you have made so far.

Act As If and get out of If…Then…Thinking

Posted on: February 11th, 2016 by Rachel Cosgrove

Act As If 

Get out of “if…then” thinking. Many women are guilty of this “If…Then” thinking when it comes to our bodies. We never stop and enjoy – Now.

In the book, Drive by Daniel Pink he talks about this in relation to management and leading a team in a company. This was interesting stuff which I immediately started to think how I could apply it in our business. He talks about using intrinsic motivators as the way to drive people to give their best long term instead of using “If….Then” motivators or extrinsic motivators.

And then I realized this is also a very powerful concept to use with my clients and the people I coach. In his book, he touches on using this with your health and weight loss as well and it made me think….

Many women are in the mindset of “If…Then.” Especially when it comes to the scale- “If” I weigh X “then” I’ll feel good. Feel Good starting NOW and start to act as if! Start to tune in to how you feel and the intrinsic motivation you have to drive yourself to accomplish what you want to accomplish.

I was actually reminded of this recently because I have a Red Covertible Toyota Solara that I have had for 6 years. It is paid off and I still enjoy it. For my birthday recently I decided to get it all fixed up and get all of the evidence of anything I had ever backed into removed(I am infamous for backing in to things…). For the 6 years I have owned it I had accumulated quite a few dings and I hadn’t been parking it in our garage. I started to think….eventually when I get my next new nice car then I’ll take care of it. But then I realized that I was using “If…Then” thinking. “If” I had a new, nice car, “then” I will park it in the garage and take care of it. I decided that I would get my Toyota fixed up, looking brand new and start parking it in the garage and treat it exactly AS IF it is my brand new dream car. It is amazing how instantly my car now feels like a brand new dream car to me.

This is the same as your body. You will never enjoy your body, if you keep putting off enjoying it until….you weigh X amount of weight or until you are a size such and such….

Are you guilty of “If…Then” thinking? Start to catch yourself and change your mental dialogue. Enjoy your fit female body today and start acting as if and really tune in to how it feels to be fit and feel good about yourself!

Re read the Fit Female Credo in my first book, The Female Body Breakthrough, and keep yourself focused on making progress but also enjoying the progress you have made so far.